How To Start A Conversation With Strangers On Messianic Singles
“Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends.” ~Shirley Maclaine
I get it that you are shy, so was I and I am still. We need to warm up to people.
Nothing wrong with that, it is just the way we are. The challenge is when we are around others that are just like us.
They wait for us, while we wait for them... so no one starts a conversation...
Up until a few years ago, I saw the world as a place where very few doors opened for me. At first, I thought it was due to being extremely introverted. But as time went on, I started to get better with making friends.
I didn’t have many Friends—and opportunities only knocked a few times a year. That’s when I realized my problems stemmed from my passivity and fear of actually going out and talking to people. My few closest friends always told me to join a club or go to parties. People always told me where to meet people. But they never really showed me how to actually create conversation.
On top of that, I never really liked going to big social gatherings. I’m introverted and tend to be overwhelmed when a lot of people are around. I like talking one-on-one.
So I decided to do things my own way. I started talking to strangers during my day because I was tired of staying on the sidelines. It was scary for a naturally shy introverted person like me, but I decided to go on in spite of the fear.
I noticed that many introverts who also struggle with making friends in the "real world" at the synagogue or other congregation or social event, try online dating hoping it will solve their problem.
But if we lack conversation skills, bonding skills or relating skills, having more people available is not going to help much. We need to work on our conversation skill or whatever skill we are lacking.
Here is how to start a conversation:
It sounds so obvious, but it’s the first major barrier. You have to be willing to put yourself out there to start a conversation. You might notice that people are more welcoming after you break the ice. Remember they are doing what you are doing, they are waiting for the other person to start. So while you wait, they wait too! So no one starts and both lose. It’s not something that everyone wants to do because it takes some courage to go up to someone you’ve never met before and start a conversation. However, more people are welcoming than we generally expect. When you encounter someone who isn’t, remember that someone else will be.
If it is scary try to think of when did you ever met someone who introduced himself to you... How did you feel? Where you nasty to him or her? Of course not. So why would a stranger be nasty to you if you take initiative?
Break the ice
Ask some icebreaker questions that are appropriate to the situation.
Is this group always so nice?
What is your most used emoji?
What was the worst style choice you ever made?
What was the worst haircut you ever had?
Who was your childhood actor/actress crush?
If you were a wrestler what would be your entrance theme song?
Have you ever been told you look like someone famous, who was it?
If you could bring back any fashion trend what would it be?
What’s the most embarrassing fashion trend you used to rock?
What did you name your first car?
Does your current car have a name? What is it?
You have your own late night talk show, who do you invite as your first guest?
If a movie was made of your life what genre would it be, who would play you?
If you were famous, what would you be famous for?
You have to sing karaoke, what song do you pick?
What was your least favorite food as a child? Do you still hate it or do you love it now?
If you had to eat one meal everyday for the rest of your life what would it be?
If you were left on a deserted island with either your worst enemy or no one, which would you choose? Why?
If aliens landed on earth tomorrow and offered to take you home with them, would you go?
60s, 70s, 80s, 90s: Which decade do you love the most and why?
What’s your favorite sandwich and why?
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?
When you die, what do you want to be remembered for?
What is your favorite item you’ve bought this year?
What would be the most surprising scientific discovery imaginable?
What is your absolute dream job?
What would your talent be if you were Miss or Mister World?
What would the title of your autobiography be?
Say you’re independently wealthy and don’t have to work, what would you do with your time?
If you had to delete all but 3 apps from your smartphone, which ones would you keep?
What is your favorite magical or mythological animal?
What does your favorite shirt look like?
Who is your favorite Disney hero or heroine? Would you trade places with them?
What would your dream house be like?
If you could add anyone to Mount Rushmore who would it be; why?
You’re going sail around the world, what’s the name of your boat?
What fictional family would you be a member of?
What is your favorite television network?