Do You Fear Women Will Reject You?
How I overcame my fear and married my best friend.
My Father gave me this tip:
Friendship first, then you choose a spouse out of your best friends.
How do you do that?
There are many ways how you can do it. The good old fashioned way was to go to community events and meet people there. Meet at the farmer’s market, then you become acquainted and then you visit more often and become friends.
Now you have social media that is supposed to help you connect with people and it does that well when you use it correctly. You can get scammed if you use it the wrong way.
One easy way is to use forums like http://messianicsingles.webs.com You comment on a girl’s topic and you start chatting with her about what she is interested in and you see how she responds.
If she talks/writes back you keep going for friendship. If she avoids you, you move on.
As you tag along with me let me tell you the story.
How I met my wife
She had a website and I am a webmaster as well. So I sent her an email and asked: “Do you do the coding yourself?” So we started talking about that and later became friends and eventually got married.
When she came to my country to marry, she lived with my mother until we married. My Mother was her chaperone.
At first, I didn’t think she is my type and she didn’t think I was her type but we chatted anyway.
One of the biggest mistakes that guys make, is that they focus so much on not having a date they will do anything to get one. In the process, they mess it up. They are too eager. Especially if you are a logical left brain type of guy. You like charts, facts, and figures and then you can’t understand why this dude just snatches your girl away. You worked months on showing her how much you care, the nights you spend doing research to help her with her projects and then a new guy comes into the picture and he snatches her away.
How did he do that? I spent months working on this and he just snatches her, why? Then you go off heartbroken because she couldn’t see how much you cared for her.
Next girl comes into the picture and the process repeats.
You work months/weeks on a girl and some dude snatches her away. Heartbroken you.
How does he do that? He is not even as smart as I am? Why does she go for a jerk like that? I’m just too nice.
It’s actually very simple. He knows the dating formula and you still have to learn that. If you asked him what the formula was, he could not tell you. He is not even aware that he knows it, so he says women just like me. You know just like you struggle with women and tell yourself stories about why you struggle. So he tells himself stories and thinks he is just lucky or whatever he thinks is his “advantage”.
How do I know? Ask those guys what you should do and they all have different opinions, different things they think caused them to be “lucky with women”.
Even if they know how to do it, they mess things up for men that want a family. Their strategy works for men that sleep around and have no moral objections towards that lifestyle.
Nice guys that want a family need a different type of strategy.
Here is a summary of the courtship formula
Meet in a group setting - if you have no group ask a friend or family member to chaperone. Or use a website like this one.
Friendship first. If you can’t be friends with someone, how will you survive a marriage with him/her?
Ask your best friend to marry you
Get married and live happily ever after. (It is not just for fairy tales. You could work on a relationship to make it better.)
Some other formulas that you would also need:
What to say.
How to say it.
How to provide.
How to budget.
- How to enjoy a relationship.